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Drew's Musings

Hope and Recovery
Stories to help you find personal recovery and restore Hope.


Am I Codependent, or Am I Just Being a Good Partner/Parent?
Codependency describes a pattern where your sense of purpose, calm, and even identity becomes tied to managing, rescuing, or controlling another person's problems — often at the expense of your own needs, boundaries, and wellbeing.
Andrew Perkins, CRS, CFRS
Aug 214 min read


It's Not an Excuse: How Addiction Hijacks the Brain
If you've felt skeptical of the "disease" label, you're not alone, and you're not wrong to want more than a slogan. Skepticism usually isn't stubbornness — it's pain looking for an honest answer.
Andrew Perkins, CRS, CFRS
Aug 204 min read


My Loved One Struggles with Gambling, Not Drugs or Alcohol — Why Doesn't Anyone Talk About This?
There's no "sobering up." With substances, there's often a visible before-and-after — intoxication and then a return to baseline. Gambling addiction can be entirely invisible in the moment. Your loved one can place a bet from their phone in a bathroom stall, and you would never know unless the money disappears.
Andrew Perkins, CRS, CFRS
Aug 114 min read


Grandparents Raising Grandchildren: Grief, Guilt, and Starting Over
Loving your grandchildren and grieving what addiction has cost your family are not in conflict. Both things are true at once, and you don't have to choose between honoring your loss and being fully present for these children.
Andrew Perkins, CRS, CFRS
Aug 104 min read


When You're the One in Recovery and Your Child Is Still Struggling
There is a particular kind of heartbreak reserved for parents who have found recovery themselves and then watch their child walk the same road they fought so hard to leave.
Andrew Perkins, CRS, CFRS
Aug 104 min read


As a Parent You Want to Control Your Loved One to Prevent Relapse, but They Need Autonomy, Compassion and Praise
Watching someone you love struggle with substance use is one of the hardest challenges a family can face. As a parent, your instinct is to protect and guide. You want to control the situation to keep your loved one safe and prevent relapse. But recovery is not about control. It is about trust, respect, and support. Your loved one needs autonomy, compassion, and praise to build a new life free from substance use. This post explores how parents can balance their desire to prote
Andrew Perkins, CRS, CFRS
May 64 min read


Navigating the Fear of Relapse: A Family's Journey to Healing
Restoring sanity to a family traumatized by addiction requires a shift in perspective and approach. It means acknowledging the pain and trauma experienced by all family members and actively working towards healing.
Andrew Perkins, CRS, CFRS
Apr 266 min read


Coping with Incarceration: Finding Strength Together
When someone we care about is incarcerated because of substance or alcohol-related crimes, it can feel like the ground has shifted beneath us.
Andrew Perkins, CRS, CFRS
Apr 125 min read


Healing Together: Why Demanding Understanding in Early Recovery Can Backfire
How Families and Recovering Loved Ones Can Communicate Without Derailing Progress The journey of addiction recovery is rarely a solitary one. It ripples outward, impacting families and loved ones in profound ways. One of the most common and challenging emotions that surfaces during this time is anger. Family members often harbor resentment, frustration, and pain stemming from the addict's past behaviors. But what happens when a loved one in early recovery is met with this ang
Andrew Perkins, CRS, CFRS
Mar 55 min read


How Do I Deal with My Loved One’s Relapse? Navigating the Storm with Strength and Compassion
When someone close to you stumbles on their path to recovery, it’s natural to experience a flood of emotions—anger, fear, doubt, and mistrust.
Andrew Perkins, CRS, CFRS
Feb 233 min read


Building Resilient Families: Family Resilience Tips for Stronger Together
Life can be challenging, especially when a family faces the impact of substance use. I know how hard it can be to hold everything together when uncertainty and pain seem to take over. But I also believe in the power of resilience - the ability to bounce back, to heal, and to grow stronger as a family. Today, I want to share some family resilience tips that can help you navigate these difficult times with hope and strength. Understanding Family Resilience Tips Family resilienc
Andrew Perkins, CRS, CFRS
Feb 44 min read


Unlock the Power of Being Stronger Together: Building Family Bonds
Building family bonds means creating a safe space where everyone feels heard, valued, and supported.
Andrew Perkins, CRS, CFRS
Jan 273 min read


Navigating the Tightrope of Addiction: A Parent's Journey
It was natural to operate from a place of pure emotion, the ingrained belief that we are responsible for our children's happiness. My child was hurting, and my instinct was to fix it, to soothe the pain, to make everything okay.
Andrew Perkins, CRS, CFRS
Jan 124 min read


Stronger Together: Family Resilience Strategies for Healing and Hope
When a family faces the challenges of substance use, the path can feel overwhelming. Yet, there is strength in unity. I believe that families can rebuild, heal, and grow stronger by embracing resilience. This post shares practical family resilience strategies that help create a supportive environment where hope flourishes. Together, we can navigate recovery with calm, steady steps. Understanding Family Resilience Strategies Family resilience is the ability to adapt and bounce
Andrew Perkins, CRS, CFRS
Jan 63 min read


Building Stronger Family Connections Together: Family Connection Strategies
Families impacted by substance use face unique challenges. Healing and rebuilding trust can feel overwhelming. Yet, with patience and the right approach, it is possible to create a supportive environment where every member feels valued and understood. I want to share some family connection strategies that help foster warmth, communication, and resilience. These ideas are gentle, practical, and designed to bring families closer as they navigate recovery together. Understanding
Andrew Perkins, CRS, CFRS
Jan 33 min read


What About Rock Bottom?
It’s a phrase we hear often, isn’t it? “They have to hit rock bottom.” It’s tossed around in movies, in casual conversations, and even in professional settings. But what does it really mean? And what happens when you’re watching someone you love spiral downwards, seemingly without an end in sight? For many, rock bottom is seen as a necessary evil. The idea is that a person struggling with addiction or other self-destructive behaviors needs to experience the full weight of the
Andrew Perkins, CRS, CFRS
Jan 33 min read


Why Won't He Just Stop Drinking?
It's a question that echoes in the hearts of many, a plea born from worry, frustration, and a deep desire for change. When someone you care about struggles with alcohol, it can feel like you're watching a slow-motion train wreck, helpless to stop it. You might think, "Why won't he just stop drinking? It seems like a lack of self-control and weakness." But the reality of alcohol use disorder (AUD) is far more complex than that. Understanding AUD is the first step toward findin
Andrew Perkins, CRS, CFRS
Dec 30, 20252 min read


Navigating Holiday Sobriety: A Guide for Families
The pressure of gatherings, the presence of alcohol, and the emotional weight of past struggles can make holiday sobriety feel overwhelming.
Andrew Perkins, CRS, CFRS
Dec 22, 20253 min read


Supporting a Loved One Through Addiction
Understanding the Difference The core difference between empathy and enabling lies in the impact of our actions. Empathy is about understanding and sharing the feelings of another. It involves offering compassion, support, and a safe space for your loved one to express themselves. Enabling, on the other hand, involves actions that inadvertently protect the addicted person from the natural consequences of their behavior. This can include: Providing financial assistance: Coveri
Andrew Perkins, CRS, CFRS
Dec 8, 20253 min read
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